ON YOUR OWN
If you never lived 100% by yourself, it’s hard to imagine yourself taking care of everything without needing another person, mostly when you have to do what the other used to take care. Either living with parents, boyfriend or best friend, whenever you have to go, you have to go.
Most of us when we go to university we face solitude, procrastination and laundry. When you live with a best friend or a boyfriend, and you know it’s time to leave, you feel like it won’t be the same, and you fear how will you do everything without that help.
Living with a person requires sharing ways of thinking that are adjusted and increased as the time pass. This is why it is known that we become a little bit like the people we spend the most time with, even if it is a youtuber talking on our screen.
Some people have a higher sense of independence, they are usually called introverted. It’s not that they don’t enjoy social events, they are less dependent on friendship, people, conversations, and so on. These people tend to get less in fights or arguments, but they face solitude more often. Being alone has a sad connotation that I believe is wrong. How could spending time with yourself - coolest person ever - be sad? When you love yourself, spending time with you is a total delight! You’re not alone because other people don’t want to hang out with you, you are because you chose to spend time with yourself.
HOW TO START SEEING MYSELF AS AN INDIVIDUAL AND BE MORE INDEPENDENT FROM OTHERS?
• Think of you more than you think of us or we. If it sounds horribly selfish you need to do it more than it is recommended. Being selfish and being empty is a total different thing - empty people hurt others if necessary, selfish people simply adjust priorities according to what they need. This attitude is key when you need your life to get somewhere or when you have a bigger purpose. You need to let go of the need to satisfy other’s needs, and start satisfying your own needs.
• You came to the world with the same importance, otherwise you wouldn’t have come, respect yourself and honour who you are. Why would you give your time - the most valuable thing you have - away for free? It is the main thing you need to build something new, to create, to change the world!
• Think of your purpose in life as the most important thing. Don’t choose a different school, job, place to live, just because your friends will be there, you can make new ones in the way and stillkeep the ones you already have.
• You came to the world with a purpose, find your purpose and follow it, don’t give up on it in order to keep people by your side. As hard as it may seem, you came as an individual, so believe in me, you will be ok.
• We don’t all walk with the same ambitions, strength and speed, whoever doesn’t look to keep up with you or you don’t see yourself keeping up with, let go.
• You can inspire people, but you cannot change them. People change when they want to change, not when we think changing would be best for them. We learn more from life lessons than from books, and still neither of them determine our tomorrow, because tomorrow can always be different.
• Yes, friends are important. A good friendship should last even when you don’t speak for years and still, when you manage to get together, everything is the same. People who demand your time and favours are not being real friends.
• An independent person doesn’t expect anything from others. Because of that, they’re rarely disappointed.
• Decide to take care of your life and to rule your own world, to take your adventures and to only care of what you are thinking about yourself and what you are doing, instead of what others will think or perceive you as.
• You have to spend enough time with yourself to get to know yourself, to understand your purpose, to develop self-esteem and to take care of everything is needed to be taken care in other for you to get to your big purpose, even if that means being the next Coco Chanel or the next Oprah Winfrey.
• Your opinion should matter as much as the opinion of Oprah (or anyone else you respect their knowledge) because you are the one living your life experience, and whatever you expect you get, whatever you prepare for you receive, and whatever you fear the most will come. So independently of what others have to say and went through, you will live whatever is in your mind. The more you look inside, the more accurate the information will be, and the more you can adjust the future and know what to expect, according to your ability to create and to believe that you deserve more, and that more is possible to you.
I am not sure if individuality is required to our biggest growth, but what I know for sure is that things will always work out the best way even when we don't see it, so we should never fear walking alone. Life is exciting and there’s so much to learn and discover, a few months from that moment of despair everything will make sense. And at the end we will always be ok because we are Silver Girls.
Thanks for reading and commenting, your opinion always adds something interesting.
See you in the next one.