HEAD IN THE CLOUDS

Do you know when you scroll on social media and suddenly feel you're lacking on all those trips, luxury bags and shoes.. fitness, looks? I've been there too. If you go back on Silver Girl you will see that I had the trips, the Chloe Bags and the Valentino shoes. I still have a few bags and shoes but most of it I don't use anymore, I have my Gucci for sale on marketplaces and every luxury bag is gone other than a Kenzo, DKNY, Armani and Michael Kors. Why did I do it?

Among the many problems of social media, such as taking our time away, Instagram has one problem that other social media don't have as much. Because of photo = image, the best image wins. So the image is the value and the likes and following are the currency. It's never been so worth it to buy or do superficial things as it is today because of social media. I wanted to get out of it and I didn't know how.

A couple months ago it got to me that beeing popular for my looks was cool but empthy and for "my assets" simply felt wrong. So I knew I had to fight it back by going simple, thinking what exactly I wanted to become, what was my message and see if my actions matched where I wanted to go. When my core used to speak stay young, be adventurous try something new and never give up, I was bored with life, I wasn't going out as much and I felt older and worried. I turned the boat and changed to where comfort and luxury got a new meaning and managed to save a lot but also make more. 

I don't want to be ungrateful with Instagram because that's where I found a huge part of you, although you somehow manage to find Silver Girl quite easily on Google, Bloglovin and Pinterest. But I don't want to be seen as an empty box so I figured it was time to own video and let myself be seen fully from inside out. I am doing 2-3 videos a week but I want to do it daily I want to be good at it. 

When I was 10-12 my mom showed me a pile of books that I used to read insatiately about how anything is possible if we put our minds to it. I wanted to be on TV, I wanted to be an actress, and back in Portugal, a good way to do it was to start by modelling and doing a few workshops, so that's what I did. Because of my food intolerance, I used to feel bloated and get water retention and all sort of things that would make me not look good in a general way. With time I got depressed because it felt there was no way my self-esteem would ever accept my looks. I was disappointed with myself for not beeing able to get to a size 0 to then be confident to then pass castings, to then become a model and then shift to acting. It was messed up. I was beeing harsh with myself. So I decided to shift to fashion and travelled all the way to Milan for the first time to study Fashion. I was still depressed with my looks, I was taking the wrong medication and I was getting panic attacks, anxiety and depression. I had a big apartment for myself, I have studied at a private school, I was living in Milan. But I was not happy.

The time I remember being the happiest is when I was a kid and didn't have the idea in my head that our value depends on what we achieve or who we become. Our value was in who we were, how kind, fun and good friends we were able to be. How positive and cheerful. For me that was happiness to see and to be that way and to live no weight on my shoulders on how I was supposed to look, supposed to wear, supposed to go, supposed to do.. There was no expectation for the next day, week or month. There were hardly any disappointments. 

Social media is fun but don't let it put too much pressure on you. Photos are edited, and pictures are more times than not a creation, not a documentation of what was really going on. Instagram showed us what we truly valued in superficially. The flowers, the labels, the legs for days, the luxury and the long hair. It goes on and on. Seek plants because you love them like for me I love palm trees, I would never get a bouquet of roses. See what labels you truly love. I learned I actually prefer Levis than Calvin Klein for example (although I still like both) and I learned that Tommy Hilfiger is not that bad too! I didn't have to go to the big brands to feel the same feeling I couldn't take my Faye bag from Chloe out because I was too afraid to ruin it! I also had the longest hair ever recently when I travelled to the French Riviera (as you seen in the photos). It was so long it was getting unpractical, I was taking to long to style and taking a lot of time to take care of. So although it is still long it is not as long as it used to. 
And the last thing I have to mention is the travelling, there's no biggest miss conception in our generation than the travel topic. We want to see everything right? From Tokyo to LA. But do we really? Last time I travelled I either felt like I should have spent the entire week in my favourite of the 5 places I went. Travelling had a lot of unpredictable events that can take away our energy and money for nothing. I was happy to see what I saw but it made me feel like I could be doing alot more with my time and money. And after all, I realised that the only place I really always wanted to go was Los Angeles. I will keep on travelling because I sort of have to, but to where I have to go not to where I simply haven't been.

Hope this post has inspired you in some way, I wish I had read it myself a year ago. Feel free to share you thoughts and experiences too. See you soon!